Sorry this site requires JavaScript to be enabled in your browser. See the following guide on How to enable JavaScript in Internet Explorer, Netscape, Firefox and Safari. Alternatively you may be blocking JavaScript with an advert-related or developer plugin. Please check your browser plugins.

Bruce Clay’s Susan Esparza steps in for Guestwhore week and explains her strategy for looking trim in conference photos.

"First things first, stop eating junk food. Soda is right out. All that chocolate from Valentine’s Day? Verboten. And don’t even think about carbs. Carbs are well known to be an alien life form sent to earth to add fat to your thighs. Science has proven it.

Step two? Stop eating. Completely."
Comments7 Comments  

Comments

Avatar
from janecopland 1452 Days ago #
Votes: 0

Susan needs to learn to stay up at the bar for longer. In the long run, drinking also puts on weight, but in the short-term, it gives you what we like to call "the skinnies." Some people call it "dehydration."Bagel, Suz?

Avatar
from Rhea 1451 Days ago #
Votes: 1

Dehydration... definitely the best way to lose weight. Unfortunately, drunken stupors lead to fried chicken on top of waffles (Rand) and that never helps...

Avatar
from planetc1 1451 Days ago #
Votes: 3

Don’t think guys don’t experience this too. If you listen carefully you’ll here the men saying things like..."Does this SMX tote bag match my outfit?""I like this SEOMoz t-shirt but does it make me look fat?""You’re not going to wear that lanyard are you? It totally clashes with your look.""Dude, I digg those checkered Vans you’re wearing." Thanks man, those yellow Pumas you’ve got on are sweet!"

Avatar
from Rhea 1451 Days ago #
Votes: 1

LOL @ "Does this SMX tote bag match my outfit?"

Avatar
from janecopland 1451 Days ago #
Votes: 2

The SEOmoz t-shirts will only make you look fat if you try to put on an XS, like I did when they showed up at the office. I’ve not had to have someone help me out of my clothes for a while ;)Moral of the story? American Apparel shirts run small.

Avatar
from DanThies 1449 Days ago #
Votes: 0

Wow, I was walking around at Pubcon thinking "there are just too many skinny women in search," and here you go trying to make more.

Avatar
from crazycat 1448 Days ago #
Votes: 0

Nice post. I’ll be attending a convention/conference next month and I will remember that. Of course, I’m one of those who want to have a lot of pictures taken with my friends and colleague. I just want to look glowing and not huggard and professional.

Upcoming Conferences

Search Marketing ExpoSearch Engine Land produces SMX, the Search Marketing Expo conference series. SMX events deliver the most comprehensive educational and networking experiences - whether you're just starting in search marketing or you're a seasoned expert.



Join us at an upcoming SMX event:

Upcoming Webcasts

Search Marketing Now Learn more about search marketing with our free online webcasts and webinars from our sister site, Search Marketing Now. Upcoming online events include: