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- Sphinn It!
Went Hot: July 11, 2008 - 1:05 pm
Posted By: soulfood 41 days ago
Topic Type: News Story (Jump to http://www.conversationmarketing.com)
Category: SEO
It's the only possible reason for some of the asinine hiring decisions made by otherwise intelligent people. So, in the tradition of bloggers giving audiences what they want, here's my ten steps to hire an SEO firm that will bury you in the rankings and cost you money...
18 Comments
Comments
So much of that is true, it's scary -- and yet those folks always have customers clamouring for more...
Nice! Love it.
I can definitely get you #1 rankings for "hassenplarfer"....just saying...
so, you can help us?
Rolando Peterson, Hassenplarfer, LLC.
Scott, you're in luck! In spite of steep competition I can get you a top ranking for not only 'hassenplarfer' but also 'Hassenplarfer' and 'hassenplarfers'.
All you have to do is add a small snippet of code to your home page that adds you to our exclusive link building network, available to only 1000 people a month!
It's THE SECRET GOOGLE DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!
Please send payment of $99.95 to my Cayman Islands account...
Woo hoo!!!!!
...um, we only budgeted $40 though. Hope that'll work.
kthanksbye
Scott,
Then you qualify for our once-in-a-lifetime special: $39.95 a month for 10 years. This gets you into our 'outer pyramid' network of 10,000 people.
Please e-mail me your credit card info and I'll get started.
Ian
Oh, I'm sorry, you lost your shot at #1 for Hassenplarfer: http://tinyurl.com/5jemmw
oh man this term is getting too competitive....I'd have to submit the URL to Google 3 or 4 times to get high rankings in this niche.
Yes, but in the mean time we can submit you to 5000 other search engines for just $9.95.
Yeah, i'm crisp , buying puyerly on stock divergence looking at my fanny whilst being aware of mack in the background. I'm sure there's buyers in the market and HALELOOYAAA! for the highest bidder.
'Cavet em Emptor'
If you can force something up, then you should go ahead. :)
So true and funny! Thanks for posting it here! Great find!
Ian you sound like a guy that I would jump at a chance to do business with, is it possible for you to do local organic listings for my site -- the term im after is :
"Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu mortages"
Its big business here in Māori :)
Eeeeeep.
Thud!
Heheh @ g1smd (Ian) what is wrong in chasing that keyword?
I would also be interested in any long-tail searches for this ;)
Wonder where it'll showin google in a few days time. I'm telling you, there is a genuine potential in opening an seo office in Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
One guy hired a content creator for 50 cents an hour and got thousands of web pages with horrible English. It sounded like Borat on steroids.
You forgot No. 11.
Hire a firm that spams the crap out of your email inbox with messages about how they can help drive search engine traffic to your site.
"If someone tells you they'll charge $5,000, gasp and hang up the phone."
Lol, nice one. I'll sphinn this just for that line.